“Love’s Reply,” modified-Cadralor & senryū

Posted on by Colleen M. Chesebro

This week for #TankaTuesday, Terri Webster Schrandt, shared a photo for our inspiration. I’m early… This week I have a lot of projects that are calling my name. I’ll be around, don’t worry.

Terri says: “This is a filtered version of a rose I photographed at the International Rose Test Garden in Portland.”

I’ve written a modified cadralor. I say modified, because I added end rhyme to the form. For whatever reason, it just seemed right. It’s a freestyle form, so you’ll find my syllabic form, a senryu, below.

Love’s Reply

First light begins the day; shadows recede in moon-glow.
A pale gauze of clouds stretches tight against the sky.
Streets wet with melting snow echo when cars slow.
A rabbit pierces the crusty glaze—long distance tracks pass by.

In the darkness, we embrace our soul’s collective power.
Together, each half of us makes a whole—our life complete.
You're a wild February snowstorm, and I'm a soft April shower.
Simultaneously, our love grows velvet like a rose, pure and sweet.

The silent gray of dusk descends; a setting sun pinks the sky.
Canadian geese take wing, songs of adventure voiced in the night.
We settle in front of the fireplace, mesmerized by the flames' last goodbye.
Darkness comes on cat feet, stealthy—stealing the light. 

Youth slips from my face; the lines in the mirror magnify the past.
Death comes early in my family; I calculate the time ahead.
Will the years catch up to the two of us? Can we make the time last?
The ticking of the clock sounds loud in the shadowy places in my head. 

It's another year around the sun. Time slows down, our hearts leap.
We can almost touch the sun, dawn's golden fire kisses the sky,
while all around us, the rest of the world sleeps, silent and deep. 
After all these years, it's still us—forever entwined, love's reply.

this moment...
dark before dawn's light
spent with you


© Colleen M. Chesebro

57 thoughts on ““Love’s Reply,” modified-Cadralor & senryū”

  3. Modified cadralor, modified senryu; who the hell cares? This work is mind-bendingly beautiful in ANY form (or modification thereof). When you get down to it, put them together & you got yerslf a modified haibun. And a beautiful one at that!
    My Beloved Sandra and I were discussing the “aging” experience / process earlier today, so when I read this I HAD TO read it aloud to her. She’s as blown away as I.

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    1. Oh my gosh! Thank you! my Ron and I are coming up on our 38th anniversary this year. This getting older is quite the adventure. Your kind words made me really happy. Thank you. ❤️

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  6. Wonderful poem! You described February perfectly. I’m tired of the cold weather, and I can see signs of spring around, not many, but the birds are singing early morning.

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  10. I love the beauty of the images and the emotions weaved in. A love that has survived and holds on. Beautiful.

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  11. There are so many wonderful phrases in this poem but I love “You’re a wild February snowstorm, and I’m a soft April shower. Wow! this one line says so much, takes me beyond this world. Outstanding poetry Colleen!

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    1. Thank you so much, Balroop. I’m thrilled you enjoyed this poem. I have to work more on the cadralor form (the stanzas should be more unrelated and come together at the end) but I like where I ended up with this poem. 🌹

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  12. What a complex and beautiful poem. That image of the rabbit piercing the glazed crust really catches me. it reminds me of when I lived in Michigan.

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  14. WOW!!! I was spellbound!! You enchanted all of us, Colleen. The interrelationship you have created on so many levels blows my mind. Your poem is bar none spectacular in all ways. THANK YOU for opening yourself to let your light shine forth. You make the world a better place!! 🌟🌹🎶

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  16. A couples’ shared life of love is magical. I know several who have lost a spouse but had no interest in another.

    Our lives can be different than our ‘genes’ – May love’s light gift you all the years of life together you can take.

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  17. A beautiful poem, Colleen. What a lovely soft rhythm that gives it a dreamy quality. And so poignant. I usually don’t enjoy rhymes, but this was exquisite and felt completely natural. Funny how you just knew that was the way to go. Your instincts were spot on. And the story/meaning behind it all went straight to the heart. ❤

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      1. LOL. Happy Birthday to Ron, and I’m glad you both had a perfectly peaceful day. I just loved this poem, Colleen. It’s beautiful.
        I don’t write a lot of love poetry to Randy, but there’s some floating around out there, and he would be mortified if he knew. Ha ha ha.

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