This year, I’m working on improving the imagery in my poetry. My goal is to eliminate wording that sounds like sentences in my syllabic poetry.
Good poetry is full of word images. I’d like to eliminate more articles like: the, a, etc. unless I need them to make sense of the line of poetry. If all I’m doing is satisfying the word count, I need to choose better words.
Another thing I’m working on is my use of passive verbs: is, are, to be, etc. It’s so easy to get in a hurry when I’m composing a poem. I’m really trying not to use words which only satisfy the word count of the syllabic poem. It’s always a work in progress… I edited twice to get to this tanka:
blue twilight descends snow-light fades, shadows flourish remains of the day hearthstone warmth invites me home where your memory lingers © Colleen M. Chesebro
Tanka poems should contain two images. Somewhere, there will be a line that pivots between the two images or meanings.
The first image:
blue twilight descends snow-light fades, shadows flourish remains of the day
The second image:
remains of the day hearthstone warmth invites me home where your memory lingers
The first three lines of this tanka describe the photo and my perception of the time of day and the season.
In the next portion of the tanka, I pivot to a more poignant perspective. The color blue made me feel reflective, so I wanted my words to reveal that imagery.
One tanka poem, two images. The pivot: remains of the day acts as a bridge between the two.
P.S. I’m having trouble with my eyes… bear with me while I find a theme I can see. Thanks. 🧡🤓